I remember the hustle and grind of both prePA and PA-S life.
I often questioned how long I could continue to operate at that level of intensity. I remember the overwhelming feelings of guilt that would take over me when attempting to give myself a break. Guilt about not studying coupled with anxiety as I went down my mental list of things to do.
I can recall lying down paralyzed on the verge of tears because even though I knew what needed to be done, my body just wasn’t up for the task.
The guilt and anxiety continued to build and before I knew it the day was practically over and I got NOTHING done, not even relaxing.
Even though I hadn’t moved from my bed all day, I still felt exhausted by the racing thoughts which only continued the vicious cycle of negative emotions.
I knew that I couldn’t continue like this.
So I started giving myself permission to rest.
That included days off, self imposed boundaries/limits and study cut off times.
I figured out that my to do list was not going anywhere. To be honest, as a mom, that to do list is never ending so why not pace myself? It’ll get done in due time.
As for studying, there came a point when I was just reading words and nothing was actually registering. I could keep trying to force this information or I could break and come back to it.
There are times when we must push through but there are times that we must also listen to our bodies. When we must be reminded that beyond all of our badassness, we are still humans with very real human needs that must be tended to, like rest.
So give yourself permission to rest. You’ll come back with more clarity and capacity to study.